Steve's story
When Steve married Amanda in 2001, they both knew that because of a number of heath conditions, Amanda would eventually require a wheelchair. She offered him a way out before the vows were even said. "I couldn't do that," Steve says. "I made the commitment, and for better, for worse."
Twenty-five years on, Steve remains Amanda's carer, supporting her through epilepsy and neuropathy. It hasn't always been easy — "sometimes it's very, very hard on her, and it's hard to watch," he admits, but "It's nobody's fault. It's the nature of the beast."
Through his role as Amanda’s carer, Steve says it’s created a real closeness between them. "There's a bond that's grown beyond a normal marriage," Steve says. After so many years, he can read Amanda's moods before she voices them — and she does the same for him through his own struggles. "For better, for worse aren't words you take lightly."
Attending carer cafes has allowed Steve to meet other carers, swapping hints and tips, learning from one another. His guiding philosophy is pragmatism. "If you're pragmatic, you don't stress, you don't worry — you just accept what's coming, deal with it, and move on. No fuss, no drama."
After twenty-five years of marriage, Steve’s commitment to Amanda and caring for her remains as strong as on their wedding day. "That's us, and we will always be together. No matter what."
Hear from Steve himself about being a husband and a carer
Steve regularly attends his local Carer Café where he enjoys the company of other carers who share both similar experiences and a bond that unites carers with a shared understanding.
Find your local carer café and register your interest to attend - we'd love to welcome you along! Each café is supported by dedicated and welcoming volunteers ready to offer a hot drink and a space to 'tap out' for a short while.