Rebecca is a young carer. She cares for her Mum, her Dad and her brother, who each have different needs of their own. Rebecca carefully balances her hobbies, school life and her own needs alongside those of her family. Her brother has autism, her Mum has chronic back pain and her Dad has high blood pressure. Here, Rebecca shares her story as a young carer.
Rebecca is a talented musician and has involved herself in musical opportunities at her local Church and Bath Philharmonia.
“I play piano and have been playing for eight years. I play this and bass guitar at Church. My mum inspired me to play, she plays the guitar and sings in Church.
I like listening to different genres of music and hearing different people singing. It makes me happy.”
She is part of Bath Philharmonia Young Carers’ Choir, and recently represented The Carers’ Centre in the performance of ‘Love is Enough’ at the Houses of Parliament and on Loose Women with Sir Ed Davey.
“It was really cool to be involved in ‘Love Is Enough’ because we met other young carers and we got to share our stories with them. It was great meeting people who were like us and not feeling alone. Meeting Sir Ed Davey was actually really cool! He is really relatable because he was a young carer when he was a kid too. We shouldn’t be judging him because he’s not the posh guy you might think he is, he’s one of us”
Rebecca shares her experiences at school, the emotional pull from home and how this can impact her day ahead.
“School is very busy. When I’m at school I worry about my mum, my brother and my Dad. It’s kind of hectic in all three of them.
I have dyslexia, and I take extra maths lessons once a week after school. After that, I go home and if my brother’s not feeling OK, which he usually isn’t, I help him. During the night I help my Mum if she needs things. I then feel tired in the morning, and I also have traits of ADHD so I’m very slow in getting ready for school.
I can feel anxious when I go to school because of all the people and the noises coming together in one big blur. I can’t zone out in the space that I want to, it’s really stressful and I just want to go home.
I have told my friends that my brother has autism but some of them glaze over when I talk about it. Sometimes they make inappropriate comments about others, such as the way they walk or behave, and when I challenge them, they then get defensive and we end up falling out. I don’t really have that many friends any-more.
I’d like to say to them, that you can’t judge someone based on their appearance or the way they do things, because it’s just their normal. That’s how they do it.”
Identifying as a young carer, the pros and the challenges
“It’s like having a fake ID. At school I’m a completely different person to who I am at home. If something good is happening at home I’ll likely be happier and start talking more, but usually at home I’m not really talkative.
The best thing about being a young carer is probably getting to do activities and getting free passes to go out of school for a day or two for opportunities. You also don’t have to deal with the stress of meeting deadlines for school work. I like being part of the Young Carers Council, going to the meetings and would like to do more of them.
Sometimes as a young carer you need space, and sometimes you need to be looked after. It’s like mixed feelings. As a young carer you have these different emotions but you need to reel them back in and not let them be free. It’s like being an adult in a kid’s body and it’s kind of restricting.
I’d like people to know that even if a sibling has what is considered a small disability, that doesn't mean you are not a young carer, you still are, you still care for that person. If I got talking to someone who I thought might be a young carer, I’d encourage them to come along to The Carers’ Centre, but if they weren’t comfortable with that, I’d tell them about the website and tell them they can get support.”
How to get involved
